Courage

May 17
The longer a person drives a car the more courageous maneuvers he can make. The longer a cook works in a kitchen the more courageous experiments with ingredients he can make. The longer a hairdresser works the  more courageously he cuts any hair.
The longer I am in Rincon the more courageous I become in local life.
I have observed my courage for example in the fact that I was quite scared from the pitch black darkness that was here after the generators were turned off. Because all the noises became scarier then. But now I am able to go out of the building to sit on a bench. I sit by myself in complete darkness and it's so good. There is some magic about nighttime. Sometimes the sky is full of bigger and smaller stars. Fire fly cousins fly around and they shine all the time. A toad or a frog jumps past me, the whole grasshopper dynasty play their violins in the same tune... one of the Rincon's dogs finds out that you're sitting there and they come to ask for some love. In the beginning they gently poke your leg. Then they want to crawl in your lap and get more love... then his brothers and sisters smell that someone has been loved on and they all run to you. And then you just hush them and run inside before it's too late.
Then I have become more courageous in spending the siesta hour. I go to explore some new jungle paths on my own - sometimes the jungle is thinner, sometimes it's so thick you can't see through. The further I go the more interesting it is... and then I again believe in the fact that I'm really in the middle of Bolivian jungle again. The strong Rincon's sun and different bigger and smaller insects accompany me during these walks. Little creatures shake the bushes. Some weird birds jump on the tree branches, they have navy blue backs and yellow bellies and they have a mohawk on their heads. They're famous for their theft. They fly or jump from tree to tree. Then sit down and whistle their loud song. And each time they make a sound they lift up their tail. It looks pretty funny! I walked along a little pathway to a meadow. There were bones of a big animal. Ribs were in a nice row but the other bones were scattered around. I guess one of the Rincon's tigers had eaten it. I thought that they are no longer here but Harry told me that they have recently found tiger's paw prints few kilometers away from our village. They don't attack people but they love cattle... I haven't met a tiger here and I think I won't meet him because I don't walk through the very thick jungle! I only take the safe roads and sometimes a local Ayoreo passes me by on his bike. They always wonder how a white person can walk through the jungle when all the normal people are asleep :) But these walks are so important both for exercise and unwinding emotionally. Then my thoughts fly a little higher and further...
I have become more courageous in discovering the girl's lies. Yes... almost all of them can't live without lying. Maybe that's inherited from previous generations. You need a lot of courage and stringency to make them confess their lie and tell the truth. I'm getting better at this. At the beginning I believed in everything. Now I see things more clearly.
Maybe it'll sound funny but I've become more courageous in my style :D In Latvia I loved to make matching outfits, match the colors and styles... but now... oh my! I can wear together almost anything. Because I have grown weary of my 10 t-shirts so for the sake of some difference I wear them together with things I would never wear together in Latvia. I guess I'm influenced by the girls - they always wear ANYTHING together and walk around very confident! So do I :)
I have become more courageous in killing different creatures. I kill cockroaches one after another and I I'll use anything that's there. Recently one was crawling on the kitchen wall and I had a little glass jar in my hands. I didn't think long and hit the beast with the jar. His life fell to pieces and so did my jar :) I'm capable to deal with all kinds of spiders. I can't touch tarantulas but I take care of all the smaller ones... I apologise to all nature lovers but you have to agree with me that there are situations when there little creatures are bothering people, aren't there? For example, if a long legged spider crawls on your bed... To avoid a situation when this spider lays next to you during the night you have to take action ahead of time! I'm not surprised by small lizards at the sink, walls, at my shoes anymore. They seem like my usual 'neighbors'.
So my courage is growing. I'm becoming more 'local' every day! Sometimes I even forget that I've had a different life before.